Grieving comes for many reasons, not just over the loss of a person or a pet. Souls can also experience grief over the loss of a relationship, the sudden changing of a lifelong career, the loss of a home or a way of life they have always known, sometimes even the dying of a dream.
The thing about grief is that there are always certain stages the soul must go through, and at the pace that is right for them, in order to achieve healing, peace, and the ability to move on.
There is no singular right way to grieve, nor is there one timeline within which to do it.
The grieving process is personal to each person who experiences it and cannot be judged or discriminated by others.
Grief is how we accept loss, adjust to change, and hopefully grow along a new path towards a different destination.
Change is hard. We have a built-in human inclination to resist it. However, change is also inevitable in life. Grief is how we deal with changes that must occur and often bring us to different experiences, locations, and decisions that we quite likely would never have made otherwise (perhaps we needed the change to force us into doing the right thing we didn’t realize we needed to do).
Grief comes to us all. The best thing to do when it arrives is to allow ourselves to feel it, every step of the way, and see where it eventually leads us.
There are phases in life where we find ourselves facing one obstacle after another.
It’s times like this that seem to beat us down spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically.
Sometimes you see them coming, like a freight train in the distance. At other times, it is almost like getting caught up in a multi-car collision you could not have anticipated.
Either way, when they do come that’s when the true tests of strength and character begin.
It’s how you face the adversity and push through it; or how you manage to see past the obstacles and find the workable solutions that bring you out of the storm and back into calmer waters.
No one solution can work for everyone, but there are helping hands that can guide you along the way.
Depending on your situation and personal beliefs, you might choose guided meditation, counseling, a support network of friends, bible study, therapeutic walks to clear your head, a combination thereof, or perhaps your own secret “pick me up”.
That is truly the secret to getting through these hard times – you must have a guide or a “pick me up”. You have to find that thing, (whatever it may be for you personally), that gives you the strength and conviction to carry on.
In times of happiness and joy, you should make a list of your blessings, and keep it close on hand for the days when you need reminding.
I would also recommend a personal mantra or motto that gives you comfort or reassurance. For me personally, it is this: “This too shall pass.” Other popular choices include: “Everything happens for a reason” and “If God leads me to it, he will help me through it.”
The important thing is that it has to have special meaning to you or it won’t ring true.
We have all been at “rock bottom” at one point or another in our lives. Usually, hitting rock bottom brings inevitable change.
Don’t we all just cringe at the idea of change?
But change doesn’t have to be bad.
Change can actually be a launch pad for opportunity and growth. It can be the spark we use to mold and shape our lives into something new and better.
Without knowing the particulars, I think it boils down to perspective.
You can wallow and let it enslave you; or you can choose to embrace and persevere.
Making the best out of a less than ideal situation is not failure. It is an alternate route to future success.
We all wish we had one. A big magical “do over” button that with a single push would erase moments in our lives we’d really like to forget.
You won’t have to think about it too long to come up with your own real life “poorly made choice” scenarios. Are the outcomes of these moments still haunting you in some way? Are any relationships irreparably damaged by them?
Until time travel becomes a real possibility, we know there is no “do over” button. That leaves us with two other figurative buttons to press.
The first is the “Ignore it and continue on” button which leads to a continuation of how you have currently been dealing with the fallout and changes nothing.
The second is the “what can I do to fix, or perhaps minimize the fallout” button. Which basically means you accept that you cannot undo what has been done, but you can:
A.) change how you perceive it;
B.) realize what you have learned from it;
C.) be aware of how you react to others because of it; and
D.) choose how you want your life to go on from here.
Will you allow a mishap in your past to hold you back in the present or future?
Or will you leave the past behind you, and let the lessons learned make you stronger as you go forward?
Remember when you were a kid afraid of the monster under the bed, or the one hiding in the closet? You looked the other way and believed that if you didn’t see it, then it wasn’t real.
We teach ourselves the fine art of denial at a very young age. It carries on with us into adulthood. We turn a blind eye to the things in life we don’t like or don’t want to acknowledge. As if by not accepting them as truth, somehow they will cease to exist.
Denial is a band-aid fix, my friend. You’re just playing the part of the little dutch boy with your finger in the dam. Do you really think you can hold back that flood?
Everybody’s got a beast in their lives. Some of us “lucky” people have more than one. Beasts come in many forms. It could be anything, such as financial mismanagement, substance abuse, crumbling relationships, or feeling like a failure as a parent.
Deep down, you know what your beast is. When it rears it’s ugly head you can feel it. It fills you up with so much negativity, it is like a storm swooped in and you’re ducking before the lightning hits.
There is only one way to make things better. It may be a hard journey down a long and nasty road. You may even feel like you’re fighting against yourself. Fear of change lets us grow comfortable even in our misery. But you will never be free until you slay the beast.